Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Ready, Set, Cook

The final began with a mad scramble to grab the necessary pots, strainers, cooling racks, roasting racks, bowls and ingredients to make your two assigned dishes. After the initial noise of clanging metal, unzipping of knife bags and the shuffle of feet, a quiet fell over the kitchen. I think everyone took a collective deep breath. Then slowly a steady chop, chop, chop began to beat out its sound, followed shortly by the sizzling sound of ingredients as they hit a hot pan. I love the sound of a professional kitchen, I liken it to a symphony. First its quiet, you tune up as you get your ingredients ready and prepped. Then, as you start to cook, it gets louder and louder and then when the orders start rushing in (as you hope they do) its show time! It's a fury of pots banging, oven doors slamming, metal spoons stirring frantically, its the clash of cymbals! It stays at this wild pitch for awhile and then it begins its refrain, to slow down, and then its quiet. All the players in a kitchen have to work together to create the perfect score. The kitchen is a delicious symphony.

For me, on that final night, lets just say I had the right tempo but no rhythm. I wasn't a symphony, I was a one woman band. I felt myself falling behind as the clock ticked away and precious minutes were lost forever. I had vowed not to be late in presenting my two dishes, so I really pushed myself. Plus I had the added benefit of Chef Jason yelling in my ear to speed it up! Get going, watch your sauce!!!

I strained the consomme, unmolded the mushroom flan and carefully and delicately, chopped chervil. First dish was on time but barely. Then it was on to my second dish, the stuffed pheasant. I worked as fast as I could to finish it, constantly watching the clock. I was just about to present the dish when I realized there was something missing. I had forgotten about the warm fig with butter and thyme. SHIT!! DAMN! I scrambled to quickly put it together and moments later the fig was on the plate, completely undercooked and lopsided, leaning unsteadily against the pheasant, like it was inebriated. That hiccup in my careful plan had cost me, I was now a few minutes late. I was terribly disappointed. Damn that fig!! I had placed them on a shelf below the countertop out of the way in an attempt to be uber orgznized. But you know what they say - out of sight, out of mind. Which is exactly what happened, fig - what fig? I was out of my mind stupid alright. As my dishes were sent off to the judges, I could not stop thinking about that cold sad looking fig. And I love figs! Nothing against them. I certainly had eaten my fair share of them the past few months, practicing my recipe. Luckily the feeling of relief, of just being done and completing the final, slowly took over, and that fig became a distant memory. I enjoyed the accomplishment of the evening with my classmates, while we sipped champagne (maybe that helped with the distant memory part). We were then critiqued by four judges who had volunteered their taste buds and stomachs for the night. My dishes did quite well, thank goodness and best of all, they didn't seem too concerned about my fig fiasco. I let out my breath and finally truly relaxed. Fini!

Even though its been almost two months since the final, whenever I see a fig staring back at me in the grocery store, its a different story. It's a love hate thing now. I guess it's going to take some time.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Final Exam

In February, right when I was falling into the black hole of writing denial and temporarily abandoning my blog (lets just be blunt about it) I was soothing my Irish catholic guilt with the fact that I was too busy to blog. Please, I was preparing to graduate from the French Culinary Institute. After ten months and 600 hours of work, the home stretch needed all my attention! After long, busy days at the office, in the evening I would practice my sauces on the stove while something baked in the oven. I read my recipes over and over again and studied my plan of attack for the final exam, I was militant in my focus. Pastry dough first, start stock second, oven on and chop fast! I would keep one eye on the clock, and the proctors would be keeping an eye on me. Just slightly daunting for someone like me who disdains competition and pressure as much as a trip to the dentist. As the end of the month started to close in on me, I tried not to panic. I didnt want all my hard work to end on a bad note...I firmly told myself that there were worse things than if I didnt properly peel an onion or have the serving plate hot enough! I was going to bed every night envisioning myself presenting two perfectly plated, properly seasoned, on time delicacies. My biggest goal, I told myself, was to finish on time. Not to be one minute late presenting either plate, a serious deduction of points. Then I focused on the eight recipes that I could possibly get. I made my husband join me in pray every day as I stated my mantra, "please don't have me draw the slip of paper with consomme and pheasant", my two most dreaded dishes. The night of the final came and while I headed down to school on the subway, I closed my eyes and saw my dishes arriving on time, looking like they belonged on the cover of a French magazine. More importantly, I envisioned a consomme and pheasant free night. The world is my universe, I have all I want and need. It's all going to work outI was the master of my destiny, success and a toque were in my sights. Positive thinking all around. So, as I sat perched on an uncomfortable stool that snowy blustery Thursday night in school, as it came my turn, I calmly reached into the basket and grabbed my fate, slowly unfoldeding the little piece of white paper. Consomme and pheasant. What?? I literally gasped when I saw the typewritten words...how is it possible? This is ridiculous. Excuse me but did the universe forget about me and my NO pheasant or consomme guideline? I haven't read The Secret, but I get the basic prinicple. Hadn't I done my work, put my request faithly out there to avoid this? Where was my happy ending. I wasn't asking for money, perfect health or a miracle. Just no pheasant of consomme, excuse me for being so specific. I trudged into the kitchen for the final practical exam, cursing mind over matter, metaphysics, The Secret, and feeling just a little bit screwed.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter!

Easter is here and its my favorite holiday. More so than Christmas (too much running around!)Thanksgiving (hard to believe given my propensity for highly caloric side dishes!) and even a long summer three day weekend (too hot!).

This Sunday is a time of rebirth, new beginnings. Which I feel is so appropriate for how I feel this gorgeous sunny morning. A chance to start fresh, a clean slate. Who doesn't like that? Or want that?

I wish everyone a happy Easter or Passover. However you celebrate, I hope its special and with dear family and friends.

Cheers - to new beginnings!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April 1st, and yes, I have been a fool.

But this is no joke. I didn't even want to look, not even take a peek...like when you get on a scale and hope to God that its not going to be as bad as you think. Or when you are in school and getting an exam grade back and you know the night before you were out when you should have been studying and cracking the books. You pray that the professor bought your tangled lines of confusion, at least a little bit. You hope for the best.

But finally, I had to look. And there it was, in front of me. The date, crystal clear and the countdown clock still diligently working, turning over the numbers...tick, tick, tick. The last time I posted on my blog was in February. I felt guilty and even embarassed in a funny way. Not because I feel like people are logging on to read my thoughts first thing in the morning, but because I had made a promise to myself and this plastic keyboard. I was going to write about this year, this transformational year. This blog was going to be my AA meeting, keeping me honest and on track. Hello my name is Bridget, and yes, I am a blogger. I fell off the wagon. Actually, it feels like I jumped off. So my to do list has only one item right now. (The know it all sister was right - always only have three!) Get back to blogging and figure out why I strayed. It's April for crying out loud. A quarter of the year has passed me by...this needs some serious reflection. And perhaps back up support. I'll let you know the plan when I know the plan. Luckily, the past few months have been very good ones, I have plenty of material. Which also begs the question ala Jay Leno to Hugh Grant - what was I thinking? How could I have walked away when the best was about to unfold.
Well, stick with me as I figure it out. Trust me, I have some wonderful stuff to share. All of a sudden, I am feeling very chatty...